Werk it, ladies.

Imagine.

A room full of woman averaging over the age of 65, dancing provocatively to Latin club songs and whooping as they do it. March, march, werk dem hips.
And then, just as you think maybe Latin songs are as bad as it's going to get, another song comes on. And the ladies start a-whopping.
I'm Sexy and I Know It.
And this was our morning. We had the brilliant idea to go to Zumba, because we're gonna get so fit its not even funny. 

That's not even the worst part. The second half of the class was strengthening and conditioning. With these ten-pound poles, we were forced to do tricep lifts, which we could not stinking do. After like half of them, we went idle and faked it, while these ladies are laughing and whooping worse than a class of middle-school girls. Is this what retirement is like?

And, boy, did I (Elle) make a faux pas... While we did these modified push-ups, I turned to Lise and said - quite loudly, in fact - "These are like the Grandma push-ups-" I cut myself off as soon as I realized that we were in a whole room filled with Grandmas. Needless to say, I shut my mouth after that. I didn't want their clique to descend upon us.

So that was Zumba. And what especially weird it that, isn't Zumba supposed to be like Latin dancing and stuff? Why the heck did we dance to Cotton Eye Joe?

Elle and Lise 

Book Review: The Fault in Our Stars

Holy flippin' gosh, guys, I have been lucky enough to find some amazing books lately, this absolutely being one of them.

Before we start, knowing John Green as the genius that he is, I knew this had to be good. On the opposite side, however, with all those Tumblr girls and whatnot raving about it, I wasn't quite sure if it would be something good, or if it would be a Twilight-esque fad.

Anyway...

The Fault in Our Stars Review

Storyline

Hazel is a 16-year-old cancer patient who's been pretty unhappy with her life until, at the cancer support group her mother forces her to attend, she comes upon a "gorgeous plot twist". (Sorry, I can't claim that fun phrase. That's part of the official blurb.) One that happens to be named Augustus Waters. 

Rating

Dun, dun dun...

★★★★★

This is one of the best books I've ever read. You're probably thinking What the heck you just said that to the last book omg, but I don't say that about every book. I rarely say that. All those Tumblr girls were right about this one - this book is worth the read.

You will laugh.

You will cry.

You will probably want to die because real life will probably never be this imperfectly perfect for you. 

John Green, you have earned respect from a reader. Which probably means .029131112% of a nothing to him at the moment, but, y'know. It's the thought that counts.

So pick this book the flip up and read it. Make sure you don't have anything planned for a while, though, because you won't be able to put it down. I have been thinking about this since I finished it a day ago. Seriously. I don't even feel that this review is worthy of its wonderfulness.

This is a Book Worth Reading. 

Elle

Book Review: Because of Mr. Terupt

        Okay, to celebrate our total of 0 followers, I decided to do a book review! Yay! I think...

        As you have probably guessed, this review is about the novel Because of Mr. Terupt by Rob Buyea.

Holy cow, I loved this book - it's giving me chills.

Storyline

        This book follows 7 fifth graders through their year with the new teacher in the building (you guessed it guys), Mr. Terupt. The book rotates through their points of view, and you get to know each of their unique stories as the year goes on. And then - bam - a tragedy occurs. 

Characters

Jessica - The inevitable new girl. She's the smart one who's always carrying around a book. My kinda girl.

Alexia - It's like a middle schooler in fifth grade. Alexia is the snobby, backstabbing (not to mention lipgloss-wearing) frienemy of the class. 

Peter - The typical boy. A class clown, jerkface, whatever you wanna call them.

Luke - Think Brain from Arthur. He's the smart boy in the class, the mathematician, the one who's always getting asked "What was your answer, Luke? 'Cause I'm dumb and can't figure it out myself!"

Danielle - She isn't the shy one, but she never stands up for herself. Danielle is described as being overweight, and her very own frienemy is her biggest tormentor when it comes to this. 

Anna - Anna is the shy one. She's an outcast because of her family history which I'm NOT gonna tell you about hahaha read the book. 

Jeffrey - Jeffrey is quiet and indifferent. He's the one that hates school. 

Mr. Terupt - Is, of course, their teacher! He's the new one in the building. I'm not going to tell you anything more about him, either, because if you're still reading this boring review, you probably should go check the book out from the library. Right now. Because it's worth it. 

Rating

And, finally, what you've been waiting for (I'm sure)...

★★★★★

OMG FIVE OUT OF FIVE STARS GUYS! It's such a good, cute story, but it's not too fluffy. It's in-depth, makes you think, but it's also a quick read. Ugh, I love it.

        If you're ever had a teacher inspire you, you'll love this book.

        If you've been indifferent to all your teachers, you'll love this book.

        If you have a heart, you'll love this book.

        

        I was laying in my room - alone - on a summer evening, reading this book, and I was just like:

and

and

and

Needless to say, it was amazing. This is a Book Worth Reading.

Elle

Shoutout To Our International Viewers!

     Yeah, you heard right.
     International.

     I mean, with all these views, how can we still have zero followers?

     Okay, now I'm crying.

     Please, you guys. 

If you follow us, we will...

Name your price.

Jillian Michaels is NOT my friend.

     Maybe in six weeks, she might be, but now, I feel like throwing a five-pound weight right into the TV so it hits her right in the forehead.
     What the heck am I talking about, you ask? I am talking about Jillian Michaels' notorious DVD, Six Week Six Pack. (#fitnesspost!)
     I mean, look at this:

     Does this look easy? Does this look like a joke to you? Because it's not. It's Jillian Michaels yelling at you "inspirationally" while you drown in your own sweat and fat and vow never to eat again. Or turn on the TV, for that matter. As you get crabbier and crabbier at the humid weather and why doesn't the ceiling fan reach you and oh my gosh your shoes are slipping why is life so hard, she's up there, walking around with her little set of abs and her hair down, laughing at you. Oh, no. Jillian Michaels is like a PMS trigger. She makes you crabby and frustrated until you just want to cry for no reason. 

     Then, finally, she yells and screams through the last move, and you're finished. When you're done, things don't look so bad. I could do this five times a week, you think. You imagine yourself all skinny and toned and you smile. Jillian is your friend.

     But only until you press play next time. 

   
     Not to mention your "before" pictures. Horrendous.

     But summer transformations come at a price, I guess.

Elle

Rolling Creeper style.

Ugh. 

We are so creepy. 

Like, what. 

I'm not gonna even tell you guys what we did.

You would think we are freaks.

Unless you comment and ask... ;)

Then maybe we'd tell you. 

So, bye. 

  They see me rolling, I'm a weirdo. 

                            Lise

Chester la Turtle

So we went for a bike ride today! We started at Lise's house and just took random turns and bends. We eventually ended up on a boat landing. Hmmm... What to do, what to do... We wanted to go wading but the stupid stitches binding together Lise's ankle prevented us. So we were standing on a dock, looking around, when suddenly, BAM, POW, CRASH. Haha. Not really. Ontamontadpeas are just fun. 

Actually, we saw a little baby turtle swimming through the water. I thought it was a snapping turtle, but I made Elle go catch it anyway. And it turns out it wasn't a snapper! It was a painted turtle, so we were safe. So we named him Chester and we loved him, and held him, and hugged him, and loved him forever. Here's some photos of the fabulous Chester. 

Chester la Turtle.

 

He more than likely hates us and will never come back to the beach, but we love him anyway.